


The Trouble with Tournaments

by metisket



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Gen, Gossip, crazy fans, hikaru can't deal with crazy fans, scurrilous gossip, touya dismisses all of his problems, with prejudice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2012-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-21 02:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metisket/pseuds/metisket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which everyone has an opinion about what's been going on in Hikaru's hotel room. Except for Hikaru, who no longer has the energy to have an opinion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble with Tournaments

**Author's Note:**

> First posted February 2011. All-dialogue flashfic for a mini-round of Blind Go.

“Touya!”

“Shindou. You’re late.”

“Oh my _God_ , Touya!”

“You’re twenty minutes late, and I’ve been telling lies about minor medical emergencies, so try to act sick—”

“A woman broke into my room last night!”

“I’m sure that was awkward. You don’t seem bruised or otherwise damaged, though, so will you please—”

“She _thought I was you_.”

“…Then she must have been very disappointed.”

“Well, yeah, she— _what’s that supposed to mean?_ ”

“Stop being hysterical and play. You really do fly off the handle over any little thing, don’t you? And your hair is sticking up in back; can’t you at least try to look professional?”

“This woman—”

“ _Play_. We’ll talk about the woman at dinner.”

“But—”

“ _Not until_ dinner.”

“You are such a jerk, you are so unsympathetic to the horrible, embarrassing trauma of other people, Waya is so right about you—”

“Shindou.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going, I’m going.”

* * *

“So did you watch the—”

“Shhh! I’m listening!”

“…Waya, eavesdropping is impolite.”

“I’m not eavesdropping, Isumi-san, I’m, I’m, I’m—”

“Practicing for a career in espionage?”

“Stop that. It’s weird when you try to be funny.”

“…Try?”

“Oh my God! Touya had women in his room! …Maybe.”

“That seems unlikely, Waya.”

“Aren’t you _listening_ to this?”

“You have better hearing than I do, apparently.”

“He’s saying, ‘When that happens, just tell them to leave.’ Them, _them!_ ‘Tell me you didn’t make her cry,’ he says. Oh my God, he’s giving Shindou love advice. Oh my God, Shindou’s turning into a huge manslut like Touya!”

“You just—that doesn’t—how did you—wait. Waya, you just used _manslut_ as a descriptive term for _Touya Akira_. You have to see there’s something very wrong with that.”

“Yeah, there’s something wrong with it! How did we not know about this before!?”

“Waya…”

* * *

“Your favorite person in the whole world is keeping hookers in his room. I thought you should know.”

“Stop talking, Young-Ha.”

“Su-Young, I’m trying to protect you from these sex-crazed Japanese players. I only have your best interests at heart!”

“You’re so cool most of the time, but I swear, we get you within a thousand miles of Shindou, and suddenly—”

“That’s not fair, Su-Young. I just don’t want to see you setting up false idols…chasing skewed rainbows…joining cults…”

“You’re not funny.”

“I wasn’t being funny, I was being concerned!”

“I’m going to tell you something, Young-Ha. It might shock you, so brace yourself.”

“Hm. Shall I sit down?”

“Yes. The thing is, if Shindou did have a room full of hookers—which, by the way, I don’t believe for a second—”

“Oh, but I heard it from—”

“If! He had a room full of hookers! …I wouldn’t care.”

“But—”

“It would have nothing to do with his go, and it would have nothing to do with me, and I wouldn’t care. Okay? Can we let this go now? Can we, for the love of God, talk about tomorrow’s _game_ a little bit?”

“Of course. I apologize.”

“…For what?”

“I didn’t understand.”

“Didn’t understand what?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“That’s not a nothing look on your face. What? _What?_ ”

“Well, if you’re in love with Shindou, obviously this would be a delicate topic for you. I’m sorry for being so insensitive.”

“Get out of here right now. Out!”

* * *

“Shindou, we’re friends, right?”

“Huh?”

“We’re friends?”

“Waya, it’s too early in the morning for you to be being this weird. What? I haven’t even had breakfast yet, oh my God.”

“You never told me about those women!”

“What women?”

“ _What women_ , he says!”

“…Hang on, are you talking about yesterday? That was just one woman, and it wasn’t my fault, she totally tackled me.”

“You’re just digging yourself deeper, here, Shindou.”

“Huh? No, it wasn’t _like_ that, I haven’t had _breakfast_ yet, this isn’t _fair_ …”

“And that isn’t even the main thing!”

“Can I eat before we talk about the main thing?”

“You never told me you were sleeping with that Korean kid!”

“ _What!?_ ”

“Look what you did, Waya. You made Touya scream in my ear first thing in the morning. Before breakfast! This headache I’ve got right now? It’s not going away _all day_.”

“But you—”

“Hate you so much—”

“What’s this about sleeping with Korean players!?”

* * *

“Ah! Touya-sensei, I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Yang Hai-kun. Yes, I always try to attend the international tournaments. I thought I’d say hello to my son, but I see they’re in the middle of…something…at the moment.”

“Mhmm, you could say that.”

“Do you find it better or worse to be able to follow the gossip in every language?”

“Well, it does give me a nice big-picture view of the proceedings. Your son is studying a few languages, isn’t he?”

“Yes. It was an…interesting decision for him to make.”

“Right. So would you like to hear the tournament gossip highlights, or are you happier ignorant?”

“I’m not really in a position to judge. Your opinion?”

“…You’re happier ignorant.”

“In that case, please don’t tell me. How have the games been?”

“ _Well_ …”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic]The Trouble With Tournaments](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3582495) by [Hananobira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hananobira/pseuds/Hananobira), [readbyjela (jelazakazone)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jelazakazone/pseuds/readbyjela), [Rhea314 (Rhea)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhea/pseuds/Rhea314)




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